I’ve always thought that the busier I was the more important I must be and that I must truly be needed if my calendar was full. It doesn’t matter what the endeavor, I’ve allowed it to consume me to the exclusion of just about everything else. When I’m at work, it’s for 10/12 hours at a time and not once do I stop to take a deep breath. If it’s a volunteer project, I usually wind up running the whole show and I use up all my energy, favors and time being the very best volunteer. There’s no “piddling” around the house for me. I can make the simplest home project into a full day of butt busting work. I’ve always had to give it my all; go the extra mile; make it perfect.
It’s hard to take stock of yourself when you’re in your mid – well, late fifties and discover there might be a better way to approach life. I can see all that I’ve missed while crashing through life proving to the world how wonderful I was. I’ve missed the beauty of the moment, the value of a relationship, my children growing up.
Fortunately, I still have time. My commitment to myself is to recognize the moment and not be looking beyond it. My promise to my wife is to value her as she is and hear her when she speaks with her voice or her soul. My kids are still around me everyday as are my three grandsons so my promise to them is to stop and listen; to stop and really pay attention, so they become the most important people in the world.
You may think I’m in trouble with my wife or kids but I’m not (at least I don’t think I am!). It’s 4:00 PM on Tuesday and I have accomplished all my tasks for the day. That made me nervous because I must not be important or needed if I’m caught up. I thought about writing a blog and this is what came out.
I don’t think my blogs always have to be about remodeling. In fact, if just one person reads this and it makes them think about their life, it will be the most important blog I’ve ever written.
